:
Good morning, everyone.
I would like to call to order meeting number 38 of the Standing Committee on Human Resources, Skills and Social Development and the Status of Persons with Disabilities.
Committee members, we have some business at the end of the meeting today, so instead of giving a full hour for the first set of witnesses and then cut off the second one, I'll probably do about 50 minutes in the first hour, 50 minutes in the second, and then we can do our committee business.
We're very pleased today to have with us Cindy Blackstock, who is from the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society of Canada. Ms. Blackstock is the executive director.
We're also very happy to have Conrad Saulis. Conrad is the policy director of the National Association of Friendship Centres.
We are really grateful that you are here today. As you know, we are doing a study on the federal supports that are available, and should be available, to adoptive parents. We know aboriginal children and the adoptive process is a very important part of this puzzle, so we're pleased that you're here.
We ask that you each make a presentation of about five to seven minutes. Then we can have some time for questions.
Ms. Blackstock.
:
Thank you, Madam Chair.
Good morning, committee members.
Today is an opportunity for you to make a difference in the lives of thousands of first nations children.
So often Canadians get so overwhelmed by the disadvantage experienced by first nations, Métis, and Inuit children, and the long-standing nature of those disadvantages, that some wonder if there's anything that can be done. I assure you that there is. It is culturally based equity for all children in the country. It is as simple as that.
One of the first pieces to understand is the reason why adoption, as Madam Chair pointed out, is such a key matter for first nations children. It is because they are overrepresented in the child welfare system, removed from their families at about a rate of six to eight times that of non-aboriginal children, the Auditor General of Canada says in her 2008 report, and the reasons they're removed are not related to abuse; they're related to neglect, linked to poverty, poor housing, and caregiver substance misuse.
Now the good news about that is that those are all things we can do something about. The bad news is that first nations children on reserves, as the Auditor General confirmed in 2008 and repeated expert reports have found going back a decade, receive inequitable child and family services to keep them safely in their family homes.
Many of the members at this table know that Canada is currently subject to a trial before the Canadian Human Rights Tribunal on allegations it is discriminating racially against first nations children and child welfare. We want to have that case heard on the merit, so that kids, in the first instance, get an equal shot at being home. Canada is trying to get out of that hearing on a legal loophole. We think this is such a fundamental issue of importance; the equity of first nations children in 2010 should never be resolved on legal technicalities. It is a matter of Canadian conscience, morality, and our commitment from the apology of the Prime Minister, and recently by the government signing the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.
If we were to do something about why there are so many first nations children in child welfare care, we would then be able to address the issue of adoption much more effectively and in a sensitive way.
There are several forms of adoption. There is western adoption, which really creates a bond between a child and a parent. That type of adoption was imposed on first nations communities. Many of you will know that during a period called the “sixties scoop”, there were mass removals of first nations children, and they were adopted into non-aboriginal homes, often permanently, in Canada and in the United States, a process that was so rampant that it commended Judge Edwin Kimelman to conduct a review of the matter in 1983, in his report “No Quiet Place”. He found that the whole practice amounted to cultural genocide. That resulted in many first nations wanting to set a moratorium on adoption, understandably so, as many of their children were leaving the homes, often because they were denied the same basic access to service that other Canadians enjoy.
Over the last 20 years, first nations have reasserted their ability, their traditional laws for adoption. First nations communities all across the country, for thousands of years, have practised adoption. It just simply wasn't called that. There isn't a word that really is proximal to adoption, because in a first nations concept, it is a child being adopted by a community. It is introducing to the child multiple caregivers and creating a safety net so that if any one individual caregiver is no longer able to care for the child, there are adults in the circle who understand their responsibilities and their love and relationship to that child and they step in.
In the brief that I prepared for you, I highlighted the Yellowhead Tribal Services Agency in Alberta. Sadly, the federal government provides no systematic funding for first nations adoption programs, or for support for first nations parents pursuing adoption or having placed their children for adoption. But this particular community received some pilot funding from the Government of Alberta. Its program is very holistic. It provides supports for not only the birth parent and birth adoptive parent but for their extended families and nations as well. It does that pre-, during, and post-adoption. It's all based on the Yellowhead Tribal Services' customary concepts of what adoption and what relationships with children mean.
What's so extraordinary about this program is they have placed well over 100 children, many of whom are not babies, but children with special needs—your eight-year-old with fetal alcohol syndrome—or teenagers. They have not had one adoption break down. This is unparalleled in the vast majority of mainstream adoption agencies. For that, this agency has won several international awards of excellence. It has been generous in sharing its model with other first nations, such as the Cowichan Tribes in British Columbia, who are mentored by YTSA and who are currently, with great success, able to recreate that model in their own cultural base.
I would commend that one of the things that needs to happen is for the federal government to support these best practices, because we know they work for first nations children and their families and for adoptive parents.
The other piece that needs to happen is in international adoption. Although there's growing recognition of the importance of identifying aboriginal children's heritage and supporting that in any adoption placement, whether that happens via mainstream or first nations adoption, there is absolutely no mechanism to be able to determine whether children coming from international countries and being placed for adoption here have any recognition of their indigenous heritage.
Now think about this for a moment, committee members. The largest population of indigenous peoples in the world is in China. Many children from that country are placed here. The second largest country in the world with the most indigenous peoples is India, and yet those children are not identified as indigenous and no supports are provided.
I'm just going to refer you to the final page of my brief, page 6, where I list a bunch of recommendations.
The first is to provide equitable and culturally based supports for children in their own family homes. Children should not be placed for adoption because their families are deprived of the same shot at being able to care for them successfully in their family homes.
The other is that the federal government must work in meaningful partnership with first nations, on reserve and off reserve, to provide holistic supports, along the lines of those provided by Yellowhead Tribal Services, for adoptive parents, children, and communities, and their birth families as well. The federal government must also work with organizations such as the National Association of Friendship Centres to ensure that those services are provided off reserve, because currently the number of aboriginal programs off reserve is very spotty.
The final recommendation is with regard to Jordan's Principle. This was passed by Parliament in 2007 as a private member's motion. It ensures that first nations children and their families are not deprived of services available to other Canadians because of fiscal jurisdictional disputes between the federal and provincial governments. The federal government, since passing it, has chosen to narrow it to apply to only children with complex medical needs. That is not in the original wording of the motion; it is not in Jordan's Principle. It applies to all government services. Should it be implemented, that would make sure that every first nations family has the same availability to adoption supports that other Canadians enjoy.
Thank you, Madam Chair.
:
Thank you, Madam Chair.
I want to thank you and the members of the committee for the invitation to come to present to you on this—as Cindy very eloquently said—very important and serious matter and issue.
As I prepare presentations to make before various committees that the NAFC presents to, I always do my own little bit of research. It was in this particular case that I just couldn't come up with any good news or good scenarios, or anything positive, necessarily. It was more disappointing things that I came across, in trying to find information on urban aboriginal adoption issues and matters. I wish there were positive things. But on the other hand, as Cindy very eloquently said, I think there's an opportunity. There are opportunities all the time.
The opportunities are based on our own willingness to dialogue together, to listen to each other, to learn and find out from each other, to learn from experts like Cindy what the best practices are out there. There are best practices on reserve, and despite their limited number, urban-based child and family service agencies and Métis child and family service agencies have best practices as well.
One of the toughest bridges to cross that I learned about in my research was—and in particular I'll look towards Ontario—the capacity to appreciate what customary adoption is and its uniqueness from aboriginal community to aboriginal community. It seemed that there was a desire on the part of the established Children's Aid Society system to want to compartmentalize it and use a compartmentalizing process and take it from one community to another community.
We always pride ourselves on the distinctiveness of communities. While we may be one nation—maybe it's the Ojibway Nation or the Oneida Nation—communities within those nations are distinct. The same thing exists in the urban areas, although it's more of a blending. As well, there are particular issues that pertain to each case.
As I said, it was one of the more sorrowful kinds of research issues that I've looked into.
I am a former social worker from my own first nation community of Tobique in New Brunswick. I was the director-supervisor of the child welfare agency back there as well, back in the early eighties, so I have a good idea. I was a few years ago able to moderate a round table discussion here in Ottawa with some adoptive parents who had adopted aboriginal children. They very eloquently, very sadly, and in many situations breaking down in tears were saying how frustrated they were with the system.
Unfortunately, what I'm saying is not in my presentation. On the other hand, I think it's important to let you know of the experiences that adoptive parents have with the federal government, and in particular with the Department of Indian Affairs—and to a certain extent as well, I guess, with the first nations and Inuit health branch—under non-insured health benefits to access those benefits and be able to provide properly and adequately for the child, if it's a status first nations child.
In the urban area, we have such a blending of aboriginal people. We have a lot of first nations people, a lot of Métis people, and in particular in the east, in Montreal and in Ottawa, a lot of Inuit as well.
It puts a lot of pressure on the very few child welfare agencies that exist. There's one in Toronto, Native Child and Family Services of Toronto, and in Vancouver as well, the Aboriginal Child and Family Services Society. I know for sure that the one in Toronto does work on adoptions.
There are a number of issues. I want to read a little bit from an article I ran across in my research. It's called “Adoption Crisis”. It says:
In April 2007, the Standing Senate Committee on Human Rights issued a report titled Children: The Silenced Citizens that concluded “there is an adoption crisis in Canada.” It called on “governments across Canada to recognize and address the adoption crisis in this country, particularly in the case of aboriginal children.” Despite the fact that aboriginal families are more inclined than non-aboriginal to adopt, there continues to be a chronic shortage of aboriginal foster and adoptive parents.
Meanwhile, a May 2008 report by the Auditor General of Canada found the federal government is failing to provide First Nations Child and Family Services agencies with adequate funding to meet the number or the needs of children in care.
And here is the champion right here:
That report stated that the funding formula has not been reviewed since 1998, and it has not been adjusted for inflation since 1995.
Earlier this year, the Canadian Human Rights Commission launched an inquiry into a complaint regarding First Nations children in state care.
In Ontario, there are currently approximately 9,200 children available for adoption. Of those, 1,191 (13%) are children with aboriginal ancestry.
I think I'll stop there.
:
Thank you, Madam Chair.
Madam Blackstock, Mr. Saulis, let me tell you how much I appreciated your presentations, for all sorts of reasons. One of the reasons is that you didn't come and say, “These are the problems.” You came and said, “These are the solutions.” I think the time for looking at the problems, if I can put it this way, is really over. We know what the problems are; it's up to us as legislators, on both sides of the table, to look at how we're going to follow through with some of the suggestions and recommendations you have made in this matter.
I'm entirely in agreement with you when you talk about cultural suicide. I've worked with various first nations groups, particularly in Quebec, and I know what happens to them when kids are taken out of their own home environment into a totally different culture and language. So I'm very happy that you spoke up loud and clear.
What I'd like to know first of all is how traditional adoption, within the particular aboriginal group that the child belongs to in the first place, happens. Does the federal or the provincial government have a role to play? That's my first question, and then I'll move on.
I'll leave it up to whoever wants to answer.
:
Thank you very much, Monsieur Lessard, for your question.
In my view, it's very simple. The federal government on reserve has a responsibility to adequately and flexibly fund children and family services, be they for adoption or child welfare, to an equitable and culturally based level. That is not my standard; that is the standard of the Department of Indian Affairs.
According to the Auditor General in 2008, they failed to meet that standard. Although they've launched something called an enhanced funding model, their own evaluation, dated 2010 and done by the Indian affairs department, echoes the finding of the Auditor General, which said this is not equitable.
The good news is there is a solution to it. Back in 2005 there was an expert report prepared by over 20 leading academics across the country, including five economists, that costed out the shortfall in child and family services on reserve. At the time, it would have cost less than half a percent of the federal surplus budget to make sure these children had an equitable chance of staying safely in their homes. The federal government chose not to implement that, and has not implemented that solution up to this day.
So we would ask the federal government to take immediate action to ensure the culturally based equity of all children and their families in adoption and child welfare care on reserve.
:
Thank you, Member, for your question.
It's important to think about what neglect is. Too often as Canadians we think neglect is a parent not doing his or her job properly. But when you look at the poverty and the poor housing, particularly for first nations, you see that those are things beyond the ability of people on reserve to control, because the people do not own their own residences. Their economic development is restricted by the Indian Act. So what we have created, along with the inequitable services on reserve, is what I often term a “perfect storm of disadvantage”. If you put any child in those conditions, their parents would struggle to take proper care of them.
The good news is that the federal government has control over housing on reserve. It has control over the Indian Act. It could promote economic development. It could ensure equity in children's services. If we did that, Member, I totally believe that we could finally turn the page on the disadvantage of first nations children. We would have substantial grounds from which to make other opportunities available. Some people might ask, well, Cindy, will that solve all the problems? Well, clearly not. But it would provide the best opportunity for success.
There's a reason why inequity is not a determinant of help. We as Canadians and you particularly as leaders in the federal government have an opportunity to make sure this is the generation that grows up knowing what it is to be treated with equity, support, and respect by the Government of Canada.
:
Thank you so much, Madam Chair.
I was very much looking forward to this presentation today. Cindy, in particular, your reputation has preceded you as being very knowledgeable, and various people have recommended that you would be a wealth of resources for this committee.
I want to start my remarks quickly, because I want to get my head around this, and get some perspective. I always struggle with the poverty thing, placing that as the blame for difficulties and so on. I came from a low-income family, a poverty family, you might say. If we had known about the low-income cut-off as a family, it would have been so high up there it would have been totally unattainable. We didn't even know about it, mind you.
I was the oldest of five boys and one girl. There were periods of time when my dad was not employed. If my mom and dad happen to read Hansard, they might hear some of this today. I suppose that by today's standards, even our house, compared to aboriginal homes and so on, might have been at the lower end, or possibly even condemned. I know it was torn down later. But it was warm in the winter. We had food, lots of garden stuff, and so on.
The upshot is that poverty did not drive our family apart. We had very few wants provided and supplied to us; most of our needs were met, although we weren't always even sure about that.
I say that to simply drive home the point that I don't believe that poverty in and of itself is the determining factor in terms of driving families apart. It certainly wasn't in our case; in fact, it drew us together. Faith was an important part of it and education was stressed. There were those kinds of supports.
Anyhow, with that as a background--
:
Thank you, Madam Chair.
A number of witnesses have testified that for adoptive parents and children, there's grief, trauma, and loss of culture and identity. I was struck by the fact that some children were adopted from the hospital, so to speak, some at a later age, some within the country, and some internationally. It seems that more supports were required for some than for others, just because of the nature of the circumstances.
They also mentioned that there were children waiting to be adopted and parents who wanted to adopt, but the two groups never met. I was struck by the fact that we don't have a way of connecting the many people. I understand there are 30,000 children who could be adopted but aren't, and people who are going internationally to adopt--so that's not happening.
You said that aboriginal children were overrepresented. Do we have a system of tracking the aboriginal foster and adoptive parents who are available to adopt, with respect to first nations custom adoptions, if you want to call them that? Do we have some means of identifying who they are so we can match the two, as a start? They obviously need supports if you can't, but down to the basics, do we have that kind of information available from province to province?
That's a very nice picture you painted. We've heard some testimony from some young children, actually, about sometimes almost being bullied or shamed because of adoption. So it's really nice to hear about honouring the children and honouring the process. Thank you for that.
I want to thank you both again for being here.
I'm going to suspend for about three minutes so that we can bring in our next witnesses. Thanks again.
The Chair: We would like to resume our meeting. We have only 45 minutes, because the committee does have business. I would ask the witnesses and the committee members to please take their places, and we will begin.
We're pleased to have some witnesses with us today who are going to share some of their personal experiences in adopting aboriginal children. We have with us again Laura Eggertson. Ms. Eggertson was here before. She's here today in her role with the Adoption Council of Canada but also to share with us her personal experience adopting children.
We're very glad to have you.
We also have Joy and Dan Loney and Jennifer Lewis.
Again, witnesses, please keep an eye on me for time. We really are tight on time. I hate to cut you off, but we all abide by certain rules. I'd like you to keep to between five and seven minutes. I'll let you know when you have about two minutes left. Then you'll know that you really need to wrap it up.
Laura, would you please begin with your story? Thank you.
:
Thank you very much, Madam Chair, for inviting me back.
I'm going to speak to my experience of adopting as a non-aboriginal or mainstream parent of two aboriginal children.
First of all, I want to say that I'm a proud mother of two young Ojibway women. I adopted my first daughter, Miranda, when she was eight years old. At the time she was in non-aboriginal foster care in Kenora. I saw her picture on Canada's Waiting Children, which is the national photo listing service that the Adoption Council of Canada runs. She was the first person adopted as a result of that list, although I didn't know it at the time.
I'm adopted myself, so I always envisioned adoption as a way to build a family. As a reporter, I had covered many aboriginal issues and had been in many first nations communities, where I had very positive experiences. I was committed to adopting an aboriginal child and to fostering that child's culture and heritage. My children know who they are and I'm proud of that.
My home was already filled with aboriginal art and books, and I made contacts with the aboriginal communities wherever possible where I was living. Here in Ottawa I've had great support from the Wabano Centre for Aboriginal Health. When I adopted I was told by Miranda's social worker in Kenora that her band had been informed that she was a crown ward eligible for adoption. Her community had an opportunity to make a plan for her and they were not able to do so. Today, as a non-aboriginal parent, I would probably not be permitted to adopt Miranda.
The political climate concerning the adoption of aboriginal children by non-aboriginal parents is a difficult one. You heard a little bit about that today. I want to tell you that sitting here it made me pretty uncomfortable. There's a bit of a subtext going on here, which is that as a non-aboriginal parent I'm an inferior parent to my aboriginal children. I have to say that makes me uncomfortable because I don't think it's true. It's not ideal, but I don't think we should be establishing families on the basis of race as a barrier, any more than we should be establishing on a racial basis.
I should also note that I took Miranda back to her home community when she was 16, and she has since reconnected with her birth family. I hope that if you have a youth panel, she'll be able to speak to you about that. I think she needed to make that reconnection, although it was not an easy experience for anybody.
Five years after I adopted Miranda, I adopted my second daughter, who was a member of the Aamjiwnaang First Nation, also known as the Chippewas of Sarnia. The process for that adoption was quite different, and I met with representatives from her band at that time. Although they didn't want to commit themselves in writing to approving the adoption in a non-aboriginal family, they did not oppose the adoption. In practice, they signed off on it without putting that in writing.
The Adoption Council of Canada's position is that, first of all, the federal government should, as Cindy Blackstock said, fund native child welfare agencies at least as well as provincial child welfare agencies so that they can support families and hopefully prevent aboriginal children--as we would like to prevent any child--from coming into care. However, when aboriginal children come into care we need to do a better job of recruiting aboriginal families. We also believe finding loving, qualified, permanent families should be the priority, regardless of the race of those families. Non-aboriginal families should be encouraged and helped to make cultural plans to nurture their children's culture. There are many wonderful adoptive parents who are aboriginal and many wonderful adoptive parents who are not aboriginal, and they parent aboriginal children.
A few years ago, the wonderful Joan Glode, from Mi'kmaq Children and Family Services in Nova Scotia, told a group of adoptive parents, including me, that when she was working with Nova Scotia to write legislation pertaining to adoption, they defined an aboriginal family as a family having one or more members who are aboriginal. That brought tears to my eyes, and that's how I now describe my family. We became an aboriginal family when I adopted my children. In some parts of British Columbia and Alberta, first nations recognize this inclusive principle. They have in fact adopted non-aboriginal parents, welcoming them with a blanket ceremony. I think Yellowhead is one of those agencies that you heard about today. This is the approach I would like to see individuals, communities, and federal and provincial governments and their agencies adopt across the country. Instead of excluding, let's include.
Thank you.
:
Thank you for allowing us this opportunity.
This morning when we all woke up, there were 30,000 children who woke up today who do not have a family to call their own. Why does this bother me, and why should this bother you? It is because these are Canadian children. As the mother of 14 children, it grieves me to think about a single child in this amazing country not having a family of its very own.
My name is Joy Loney, and my husband Dan and I have 14 children. Twelve years ago we opened our home to become foster parents. Little did we know the impact it would have upon our lives. Over the next six years, our family increased by six children, four of whom we were privileged to adopt. Three of these children are registered aboriginal children.
Of all families surveyed in Canada, 43% say they would consider adopting a child. This means there is a home for every child who is waiting to be adopted right here in Canada today. There are more than enough homes waiting to adopt children, but there are many bottlenecks in the way of those potential adoptions. Statistics from the United States show that 51% of kids who remain unadopted and age out of the foster system end up unemployed, 30% receive public assistance, and 25% are homeless. We expect the results in Canada to be similar. The cost to our society is evident in the failure to place children in homes that will support them, to help them avoid these outcomes.
As a mother, I bring to you the passion of a mother's heart for each of these children waiting to be adopted in Canada. We need the federal government to support the solutions to this national crisis.
My husband, Dan, will now address how this national crisis can be solved and what we need to do at the federal level.
How do we solve this crisis? We believe the only way is to remove the bottlenecks that are involved in adoption and to address the fear, the frustration, and the finances that challenge us around adoption.
Fear can be eradicated by federal programs that support adopting families, providing education for every challenge they will face in the adoption, from attachment disorder issues to fetal alcohol syndrome and learning disabilities. We'd like to recommend that the federal government establish a web-based resource centre to support questions and supply education in all the challenges that adoptive parents will face. We suggest webinars to provide continuing education and to support adopting families to solve problems long before they occur in the growth of the adopted child. This resource could also include interactive blogs wherein adoptive parents could create an online support group for all families of adoption. The purpose of these initiatives is to remove the fear that many families face toward adopting Canadian children.
Frustration in dealing with bureaucracy must be minimized by expediting the adoption process from its current one-year to three-year timeline. Our own adoption of our four children took over four years, and the process was emotionally draining, due to the periods of uncertainty that the adoption process might fail. Could you imagine being pregnant for four years and having to manage the emotional roller coaster of expecting your child's arrival in your family to be finalized?
We need to have a central database for all children eligible for adoption in Canada at the federal level, to track statistics and progress of the adoptions in Canada. At this time there is no central point at the federal level keeping track of Canadian children, both in foster care and those up for adoption. This is why we never really know at any time how many kids are totally in the system. At the provincial level, kids are lost in the system by moving between provinces, and provinces do not communicate in keeping track of the children at risk. We believe this is very alarming.
Finances tend to be a huge concern for families interested in adoption. There is often a misconception that adopting children in Canada can be very costly and range between $10,000 to $30,000, as it is in foreign adoptions. Further concerns are that parents will be unable to financially support adopted children for expenses over their lifetime.
We would recommend the federal government look at providing tax credits for food, clothing, and transportation costs, to offset the increased costs that are incurred by adoptive families.
Housing tends to be the greatest cost and concern for families, and we would ask that this committee look at a Bank of Canada mortgage at prime rate over the life of a child to age 21, to assist with the housing costs of a growing family.
Many families have great concern over financing post-secondary education, and a scholarship for adopted children would alleviate this concern. This support from the government would be of great encouragement for families to adopt children, by helping minimize their financial concerns around adoption.
My name is Jennifer Lewis, and I am really thankful for the opportunity to be here today and to share the story of my family.
I am a wife and a mother of four children, three naturally born and one adopted. My husband and I always knew that we would be adoptive parents; our idea was that at some point in our marriage we would add a little girl from China to our family. After three naturally born children and a wait time that was stretching on to four years for international adoption, we weighed the possibility and considered the age of our children, our desire being to keep them all close in age.
In the midst of this process, we heard about a little boy whose reality touched our hearts. This little boy had been born to a young, single mom, one who wasn’t quite ready to lend her identity to motherhood and whose lifestyle was more party girl than consistent caregiver. Her son was almost two and seriously neglected.
The Children's Aid Society had been called on several occasions, but they felt he was not in danger, just not in the best situation. Their caseload had no room for a child in neglect because they had to focus on children in extreme cases.
She, as his mother, knew he was in trouble and she made the decision to break a cycle in her life of neglect and abuse. She reached out and said, “Please, is there someone who will take this child before I hurt him?” She's one of my heroes.
We said yes. We were naive, though. We were unqualified, but our hearts were wide open. He was a beautiful baby, and so full of rage, so full of hurt, so totally incapable of trusting anyone. He was almost two, and he made his bed, he cut his own fingernails, and he washed his own dishes, not because he was bright—even though he was—but because he had to.
When the process was started, we jumped in. We had no idea what was waiting for us—legally, mentally, emotionally, or physically. She chose us; she knew he was in danger and she wanted him in our family. We looked at finding a lawyer—that's how little we knew. Our searching led us to a private adoption agency that said it could help us, and because of the situation that we and he were facing, they said they could help us quickly by speeding up the process and doubling up on our home study sessions.
Two weeks after that initial phone call, that cry for help, we were meeting twice a week with a social worker and watching our family, our marriage, our children, and our history get picked apart and analyzed. We spent four months under an intense microscope. They questioned our motives, our communication, our parenting, and our marriage. We usually left those meetings feeling wrung out and completely bare, all the while knowing that his situation wasn’t changing and he was facing the same neglect he had always endured. Sometimes I couldn’t sleep for worry. He was one of my babies. I knew it even without having the chance to hold him yet.
We weren’t the only ones dealing with the stress of transition. His birth mother, already having decided to give him up, just wanted it finished, and every morning it was harder and harder for her to face a day in this long goodbye. Near the end, she couldn’t wait and terminated her rights before we were approved to bring him into our home, before it was legal for us to do so.
An emergency response was necessary, and we had to establish care for him every night for two weeks leading up to our approval. We didn't know when that was going to happen. A network of friends came forward and offered spare rooms so that he could spend the day with us and sleep somewhere else so that the process would not be jeopardized. This was agony for all of us. But once those beds were found, his birth mother chose the transition day—one that I will never forget.
No one will ever be able to convince me that children have less of an awareness than adults do. Sometimes I believe they are more keenly aware of what is happening. I know this was true of our little boy. He knew she was leaving him forever and he reacted like she was. I have never heard a cry like the one that came out of his little body that day—not before and not since. He shook with loss, he sobbed with loss, he fully understood loss, and a part of his heart was broken. That is what it sounded like, and six years later it is what we still face every once in a while—a broken heart, more ready to lash out at love than to receive it, and more able to test than to trust.
Once our rights as parents were established, two weeks after “leaving day”, we thought he would be able to experience a smooth transition into our family. We spent a year thinking that, every day, and every day his actions begged that we would reject him.
He had been broken from the only reality he had ever known and he wanted us to pay. If we hugged, he bit; if we praised, he ripped. He banged his head into walls and threw himself off stairs. He rolled screaming from one end of the room to the other for hours and hours, sometimes for the entire time he was awake.
We loved and we cried and we despaired and we held on harder. We were told that he had an attachment disorder, but no one needed to tell us that because we lived it. When I considered the attachment I had to my other children, to his brother and sisters, I remembered the time spent holding them as infants, rocking them and cradling them. So we wrapped him in his snugglie and we held him. And he screamed. And we held him longer.
The stress was overwhelming. The bar for adopting had been set so high that we felt as though we were barely approved as parents. We felt like we were failing him. Our children were stressed. All of them had been eagerly anticipating this little brother and he had rejected each one of them in turn. So as a family we decided to make lists of what we were thankful for in him so that we could yell those things out in the midst of his fits. He had an amazing laugh. He giggled. He loved to help. He made us laugh. And when he disconnected from us, those things kept us holding on.
Six years later, because this is a story of hope and it is one of love, this little guy still loves to laugh, and he loves to make us laugh. He has come so far.
Our first year as adoptive parents was full of stress, love, tears, victories, tragedies, and triumphs, a year that needed our complete focus, our undivided attention, and all of our time. We needed this transitional time to bring a little boy from a painful place to a place of belonging. We needed this time to become a family. And we faced things in this transition that no one could have prepared us for, but we came out of it stronger than we could have ever imagined.
Children need all the support we can give them, and parents who bring a child into their homes by heart choice need to be able to focus on that child. We are whole as a family. We're not perfect, but we're whole, and that would not have happened without consistent time and effort. It is a worthy investment.
I believe the strength of a nation is built on the strength of its families and the hope of its future is built on the health and well-being of its children. With these two things in mind, I believe the government can ease transition for adoptive parents and their children by removing some of the stressors that diminish our focus, both financially and socially.
By recognizing the limitations and legislating on an issue that falls primarily to the provinces, I hold to the belief that Canada can be unified by a decision for our children that crosses the federal-provincial divide--transitional leave for parents and a nation-wide effort to unify adoption strategies that are expressed so differently among the provinces--because the journey from brokenness to mending is a beautiful one, and it's one that we should all support and engage in.
Thank you.
:
Thank you, Madam Chair, and thank you to our witnesses. I love all this discussion of children. My wife is the youngest of eight. Her father is now a grandfather to 56, and more are on the way. This is good--14 kids--but I'm getting sidetracked.
Ms. Lewis, thank you for helping me completely unravel here on this side of the witness table during your testimony.
I have a few things I want to try to get to in a very brief amount of time, so I'll ask you to keep your responses brief, if possible, and I will try to keep my questions brief.
There's one area that I think needs a little bit of exploration here, and it is around the transitional measure for adoption--transitional leave, or some sort of benefit.
Within the employment insurance system, parental leave deals with issues of attachment and care of the children, and it can be shared among caregivers, the mother and father. Maternity leave was given as something unique, recognizing, as the courts have said, the physiological aspects of giving birth and the need for recovery, for example. That's why biological mothers who give their children up for adoption get maternity leave but not parental.
In establishing some sort of transitional leave or adoption leave benefit, or whatever it's going to be called, I'm presuming, from my vantage point, that there needs to be some kind of substantiation of why that should be offered to adoptive parents or caregivers, as opposed to being lumped into the parental issue.
Ms. Lewis, I think some of your testimony has gotten to this already.
Ms. Eggertson, I don't know whether you have biological children as well as your adopted children. What is different from the parent's vantage point? What are the unique challenges you face as a parent, perhaps on the psychological side of things, that you didn't experience with biological children? If you can, plumb the depths of that a little bit for us.
:
Because one of the questions was from me, I'll go next, and then he can go, in case we run out of time. But I look forward to his answer.
Yes, there's very much a need. The question is, what happened here, and is this going to happen again? How do decisions like this get made that affect the poorest of the poor in our country? If this was a decision that wasn't made at the cabinet level or the ministerial level, that makes it even more important to find out how this happened and carried on for a long period of time.
It's to the good credit of Gerry Byrne, who raised this in the House and brought this issue to light. He has rightly deserved and received some credit for what he's done.
But the question is, how does this happen? Is it happening with EI? Is it happening with the disability tax credit? Who's making these decisions? How does a decision like this get made? It's fine to say thank you to the Liberal Party for raising it and we'll fix it in this case, but what happened here? We need to find out what happened in this case and how a decision can happen that is so detrimental to people who have very little voice.
How do we know it's not going to happen with other measures, in other parts of this huge department? This is one of the biggest departments of government, making decisions on education and many other issues that affect the lives of Canadians who are disabled, seniors, living in poverty. The question is, what happened here? Why did it happen?
I think it's incumbent upon this committee, and, frankly, I think it's part of the fiduciary responsibility of this committee, to find out what happened in a case this serious.